a mind for love

No more timidity. Let fruit fall,
and wind turn my roots up in the
done with patient waiting. 


I am experiencing the depth and dazzling dizziness of the fall. I am not new to this. I reckon I've fallen three times before. Each time I experienced the tenderizing medicine of the heart: a metallic sheen of hyper-awareness, where every sight, sound, taste, scent, touch, and interaction, felt pristine, immediate, and loaded with intentional generosity.

Because I and the person I have fallen for are older we are already composing narratives of how things may unfold. We are both aware of the transience of this glow and the work that will come. In essence, we're aware of the potential messiness of it all! We both have young children, we live some distance apart, we can only see each other every two weeks. However, we also know the accumulation of a lifetime of unspoken wants, needs, and settling for less that have fuelled our determination to make this deeper, dazzling, and dizzy 'fall' work. We want love, laughter, and lust. We want to be present with the unfolding moments of this heart connection. Because of this we feel gratitude for the relationships that didn't work: that they led to the quality of love we are experiencing now. We feel the past as an apprenticeship of the heart. 

What is the learning from this present experience? What would I tell myself if it were to finish and fall apart? Maybe this ... if you are experiencing a sense of lovelessness in your life, in whatever form, start working on what you want, start visualizing who it is you think you can be, start doing the incremental tasks that will set you free. Then, look in the mirror of your life and express those needs to yourself. Repeat them, like a mantra. Know that you are energy, that you were formed out of the stars; that the energy of who you already are can attract forces that align with your unexpressed needs.

Have hope. Find that tender place in your heart. Show it to everyone you meet. Smile. Sing. Read. Write a journal. Walk the land. Eat well. Show those you love that you love them. Play with your kids. Forgive your parents. Plant flowers. Kiss the mouth of mundanity. Welcome experience as enlightenment.

Then you will find the energy of the love you seek.

All that will remain is the daring to seek and be finished with longing.

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