in love



No more timidity. Let fruit fall, 

and wind turn my roots up in the 

air,

done with patient waiting.

(Rumi)

I am in love. I know that in this present moment I am experiencing love's depth and dazzling dizziness.

I am not new to this. I reckon I've fallen in love 3 times before. Each time I experienced a tenderizing of the heart: a metallic sheen of hyper-awareness, where every sight, sound, taste, scent, touch, and interaction felt pristine, immediate, and loaded with intentional generosity. 

Because I and the person I have fallen in love with are older we are already composing narratives of how things will unfold. We are both aware of the transience of this glow we are basking in, of the work we have to do; the possible tribulations. We both have young children, we live some distance apart, we can only see each other every two weeks. However, we also know the accumulation of a lifetime of unspoken wants, needs, and settling for less that has fuelled our determination to make this deeper, dazzling, and dizzy love work. We want love, laughter, and liberating lust. We want to be present with the unfolding moments of this heart connection. Because of this, we feel grateful for the relationships that didn't work because we realize they led to this love we are experiencing now. We feel it was necessary. We realize that every road leads to a place called hope, possibility, and reward. We realize that all that has passed was an apprenticeship of the heart.

My advice to you now, if you are experiencing lovelessness in your life, is to start working on what you want, start visualizing who it is you think you can be, start doing the incremental tasks that will set you free. Then, look in the mirror of your life and express those needs to yourself. Repeat them, like a mantra. Know that you are energy, that you were formed out of the stars, that the kinetic force of who you already are will attract forces that will align with your unexpressed needs. 

Have hope. Find that tender place in your heart and show it to everyone you meet. Smile, sing songs, read poetry, write a journal, run, eat well, learn how to cook simple and nutritious meals, show your kids you love them, forgive your parents, plant flowers, kiss the mouth of mundanity and welcome it as enlightenment. 

Then, I absolutely guarantee - and if you want it - you will find the energy of the love you seek. 

All that will remain is the daring to seek and be finished with longing.

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