“We teach best what we most need to learn.”
That quote from Richard Bach is something I carry with me every day.
After 25 years in education, I can tell you: this nervous system work isn’t just something I teach—it’s something I practice. Daily. Personally. Imperfectly. And now, I invite others—teachers, education assistants, learning support staff, leaders—to practice it too.
Because it’s not enough for one or two people in a school to be “trauma-informed.”
We need something deeper.
We need autonomically informed school communities.
That begins with understanding our own nervous systems—how they’ve been shaped by our histories, our environments, and our ongoing stressors. And how we can learn to reset, regulate, and relate in new ways.
Three Primary States—And the Blends Between
Polyvagal Theory, developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, offers a biological map of how we move through stress, safety, and connection. It helps us understand that behavior is not just psychological—it’s physiological. It’s nervous system-based.
There are three core states the autonomic nervous system moves through:
- Ventral Vagal (Safe and Social)
This is the state of connection. In ventral, we feel grounded, open, curious, and present. We can learn, teach, play, listen, and co-regulate. This is where we want to build our classrooms and our relationships from. - Sympathetic (Mobilized: Fight or Flight)
This is a state of activation. Our body prepares to respond to threat. We may feel anxious, restless, angry, or overwhelmed. In this state, it’s difficult to reflect, listen, or stay connected to others. - Dorsal Vagal (Shut Down: Freeze or Collapse)
This is the most disconnected state. We may feel numb, fatigued, spaced out, or hopeless. Sometimes, especially in schools, this state is mistaken for compliance—but it’s actually a survival response.
But it’s not always one or the other.
We can be in blended states, like:
- Ventral + Sympathetic: The energy of mobilization, but anchored in safety. Think focused excitement, passionate discussion, productive movement.
- Ventral + Dorsal: A softening of energy. We may feel tired but safe, quiet but connected—like resting in a hammock with someone nearby.
- Sympathetic + Dorsal: Agitated depression or frozen panic—feeling both stuck and overwhelmed, a state common in burnout.
Understanding these blends helps us move beyond rigid labels. It helps us see ourselves—and others—with more nuance, compassion, and clarity.
This Is a Personal Practice—Every Day
I didn’t come to this work through theory. I came to it through experience.
Long before I had the language of Polyvagal Theory, I was exploring mindfulness, breath, and regulation. But when I discovered the science behind what I was feeling, everything deepened.
I began to see behavior—my students’, my colleagues’, and my own—as reflexive, not intentional.
I began to understand that 80% of the vagus nerve’s fibers send information from the body to the brain.
I began to track how often I was teaching from a dysregulated state—and how my state was shaping the emotional weather of the room.
Now, nervous system awareness is how I live.
It’s how I teach.
It’s how I lead.
I regulate before I reason.
I pause before I plan.
And I bring that same orientation to the people I support.
RESET: A Framework for Returning to Ourselves
Nervous system regulation isn’t something we master—it’s something we return to, again and again.
That’s why I developed RESET. It’s a simple, embodied framework I use daily—for myself and with others.
R – Recognize
Where am I right now? Ventral? Sympathetic? Dorsal? Blended? Naming the state brings choice back online.
E – Exhale
Let the out-breath lengthen. The nervous system responds first to physiology. Exhaling invites down-regulation.
S – Sense
Feel your feet, your jaw, your spine. What is your body telling you? Sensation anchors us in the here and now.
E – Engage
Move toward safety: orient to the room, stretch, step outside, make eye contact with a trusted colleague. Small acts of connection can shift state.
T – Transform
Choose a different response. Let awareness reshape old patterns. This may involve tracking your system over time—but it always involves action in the present.
RESET isn’t a checklist—it’s a cycle. A rhythm. A return to safety, moment by moment.
An Invitation to the Whole School
This is not just for individual teachers to carry.
Schools need communities where nervous system literacy is embedded in the culture. Where leaders model regulation. Where education assistants are included in training. Where staff understand that their own histories—their ACE scores, their adverse community experiences—have shaped their wiring.
Because if we don’t understand our own nervous systems, we can’t truly help our students navigate theirs.
But when we do?
We change the emotional climate of the school.
We make safety visible.
We build belonging—not through posters or policies, but through presence.
The Path Is Within Reach
If you’re reading this and wondering where to start, start here:
- Start with yourself.
- Breathe.
- Notice.
- Share what you’re learning.
You don’t have to be perfect. You just have to be willing.
We teach best what we most need to learn.
And every time we RESET, we teach—without even saying a word.